Perfect People

I love christian radio. The music has always found a way into my heart. I consider music to be one of the most powerful ways that I worship God. However, I have always found it a little corny when people call in and say how something touched them so deeply, or it was just what they needed to hear right up until I was driving home today from my "alone time" and the song Perfect People came on. If it was not illegal to use your cell phone while driving I would have been dialing the radio station and thanking them for somehow knowing that I needed to hear that song in just that moment. You see, today has not been good. The combination of sleep deprivation, physical discomfort and ever shifting hormones created a very unhappy Genny. Craving a moment of peace I requested an opportunity to go, by myself, to Starbucks where I would sit and read more than a paragraph from my book. Of course nothing makes you feel like a worse wife and mother than asking for a break from being a wife and a mother so I spent most of my alone time feeling terribly guilty about needing alone time. I am a mother. I should not need to be away from my children and even if I want to have a break from them I should not take it. What if they need me? Upon leaving the house I reminded Zach that there was milk in the freezer and formula in the cupboard if Hannah needed to eat before I got back. But I felt awful about it. True, it is unlikely she would starve to death in the hour and a half I was going to be gone, in fact she would probably not even wake up, but I felt no end of guilt for not being there in case she woke up, was hungry, and only wanted to be nursed. So I was feeling like a horrible wife and even worse mother. It did not help that Grace and I had a rough morning together that I would normally handle much better than I did today. I usually have quite a bit of patience for her tantrums and am able to get her and I both through them without raising my voice or losing my cool but today I lost my cool. So I had that running through my mind the whole time I was gone. Anyway, when I was almost home and almost in tears this song came on the radio and relieved much of my guilt. There is no such thing as perfect people ( mothers and wives included), There is no such thing as a perfect life, (school will end soon, Zach will get a job, money will not be a constant concern)So come as you are, broken and scarred and be amazed by a perfect God (the only thing perfect in any of our lives). Thank you music for finding a way to make me feel a little bit better about things. Despite my shortcomings I can be assured of the love my Heavenly Father has for me and his divine forgiveness of my imperfections. I am not a perfect person and that is okay. I do my best every day, I try to recognize when I am in over my head and ask for help and I think this is all that is expected of me.